Being in this profession for two decades, I have come across many clients who are very hard on themselves, always feeling not good enough. Not that they intended to be, but mostly they didn’t know what to do when they failed, made mistakes, made bad decisions, or were lost about their future.
My heart breaks every time I listen to their story because I can see them through different angles. I saw good people who were doing their best to deal with life. We all succeeded at times and failed at times. What gets us into trouble is not our failure but how we deal with them or do with them.
How do we treat ourselves when we fail? What do we do with our unmet needs? Most of my clients knew they shouldn’t be so harsh on themselves logically, but their feelings tell them different things.
Most of us have not received many loving messages in our lives, while we are longing for them. As a result, this feels weird alien, and uncomfortable at first. If we are one of the many who have this kind of reaction, think about it as a way to validate that this is an area that needs your attention for internal growth.
Self-love being good enough is a topic close to my heart. Because I was once like these clients, highly critical of myself, never good enough in everything I do. And self-love transformed my life. I interact with myself with truth and grace instead of criticism and judgment. By resigning from my self-criticism, judgment, and confusion. I became free, to proclaim I am good enough.
How to love yourself is vital for handling and recovering from failure in life. Without it, we are vulnerable to the opinions of others as well as the negative voices from the inner critic we all carry inside us. Self-love and self-acceptance is the process of accepting yourself as being good enough. Accepting your enoughness for who we are does not limit your motivation to do better, it increases it.
As a coach, trainer, and counselor, I often sensed the presence of something transcendent – spiritual awakening. I have come to rely on it to transcend my limitations. I became the inspired coach, trainer, and counselor.
Give yourself the support you need, a therapist, counselor, coach, or support group can help you process this new way of looking at and interacting with yourself. I have witnessed many, many men and women transform profoundly in their ability to be loving and compassionate with themselves and there is no reason you can’t too.
Heeding thought after thought, we come to anticipate readiness just what we are up to. Each new thought unfolds another layer of our self. Each layer tutors us further in our lovability.
